We're facebook friends in real life
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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