Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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