She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
