$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize