So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
