Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize