I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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