She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
