So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
