break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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