New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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