420 ftw
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
