Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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