he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
