If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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