i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
