I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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