is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
