Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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