aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
