Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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