WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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