The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
