also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
