the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
