"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
