I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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