Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
