Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
