Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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