i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
