We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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