I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woke up backwards on a recliner
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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