i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
