Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
