i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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