i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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