I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
