Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
