what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
