O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
