The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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