wakey wakey hands off snakey
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
