dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
