I'm laying in your front yard are you home
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
