Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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