Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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