IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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