My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize