I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
