So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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