Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
