I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
