I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
