She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
