I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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