wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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