literally had 100 drinks last night.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
