dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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