i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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