absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
