It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
