Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
