Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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