i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
