today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
