P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
