I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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