I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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